Pam Holt One-to-One

Is Your Mind Spinning? Breathe, Pause Quietly, and Reflect on Your Beliefs, Values and Wants with One-to-One Wellness Coaching.

" . . . There are so many people that are dissatisfied and feel a lack of control over their lives. The things that matter most in life are too often held hostage to the things that matter least."
Hyrum W. Smith

By establishing our personal values we have a deep sense of who we are, what we believe and why we believe it. Our life roles reflect our core values. We do not fear what others think and do not need to look and live like the rest of the world. In short, values represent true freedom. We can then say, "I have my act together. I know where I'm coming from, who I am, what I believe, and where I'm going." We must define and understand our wants, needs, values, and goals in order that we might "live our lives as we plan them rather than by accident".

We may begin by defining our core values, but a definition of values first:

A value is an attitude or character trait that is important to us. A value is something you would say about yourself when you think about the person you want to be. Values are what you are drawn to or eager to do. Values are different for everyone. Values can be harmful when taken to extreme; then, they are no longer positive. Values lead you to "who" you are. Only when you know "who you are", are you able to know "what" you truly want.

Values are not morals; morals are defined as "principles of right and wrong in behavior" or "conformity to established sanctioned codes or accepted notions of right and wrong". A value isn't morally right or wrong. There is nothing virtous in values. What is to be admired is one's commitment to their values. Values are intrinsic in nature. They come from within and are not based on what other people want or think. Because they come from within, core values can be sustained over a lifetime because they are of high importance to us. Intrinsic values are those qualities or experiences that bestow on us the passion to live and operate at a higher level of existence. If one stays focused on their values, life becomes much simpler; one becomes "authentic" in all of one's life roles.

Too often, values are squashed or repressed by unmet needs, tolerations, weak boundaries, money, other obligations and lack of clarity. The consequence of unclear values is that we get distracted from our goals and needs, we constantly change our plans and strategies, and we lack purpose and vision.

Matching our lifestyle with our true personal values is often a challenge; there are several reasons: for each role in life we have different governing values. There is not a list of good and valuable values we all should have. Many of our values are deep within us. Truly living our values drives us to more than what is urgent. Unless we know what we want and where we are going in life, other people's agendas and demands can control our life. Identifying our values creates a sense of integrity that we have reclaimed ourselves.

Values originate from: genetics, culture, experience, our different roles in life, observations, interactions, and experiences and perceptions we may not remember.

As this resonates with you and you would like to further explore positive change, e-mail pam@pamholtonetoone.com or call 260/749-7226 to learn more about Wellness Coaching.

More soon on the difference between needs, wants, values and beliefs, how values and beliefs influence behavior, and how we may begin to define our core values.

Remember . . . breathe, pause and reflect.